Before we get started I’m going to need you to open up another tab and find some theme music for me. It doesn’t have to be much, maybe The Call of Ktulu by Metallica or Holy Diver by Dio. Alright, you got it? Great, now we can get started. So, what do you think? I happen to like it, if you were curious. I enjoyed a comment from “Mrs. Who” very much and it inspired me to go in this direction.
“…if just one thing you say reaches deep to the heart of even just one person and opens their eyes to the wonderful world of Brother Jon, isn’t it worth it to keep posting?” ~ Mrs. Who
Isn’t this just about the greatest thing you’ve ever heard? Maybe not for you, but it sure is for me. I also heard from Madame Weebles, something to the effect of “do what you want, as long as you keep doing it.” Well, I’m gonna keep doing it. And I’m going to start with the hardest hitting subject of all time. The one thing that gets under my skin faster than anything else. The one instance that causes me to NOT have Christ like feelings. No, I’m not talking about driving. I’ve come to the realization that I’m the only person out there that knows how to drive correctly. I just keep to my self and stay out of everyone’s way. I’m talking about something so vile they don’t even let them in hospitals. (This may or may not be true. I didn’t research it, but I have seen a sign before.) I’m talking about cell phones, and in particular people not answering their cell phones.
Keeping you annoyed since 1983, as opposed to Brother Jon, who has been annoying people since 1982.
Now, I’m not concerned with the person on the other end of MY line. If they don’t want to answer that’s fine. I’m talking about the people that are all around me that have a hard time picking up THEIR lines. It isn’t the fact that they are blatantly ignoring the person on the other end, I could care less about that. (I’m sure they’re all wonderful people, but that’s not what I’m talking about.) The problem I have is that these people have a so-called “smart” phone and they refuse to learn how to use them. I have a Droid powered touch screen cell phone. (I know, mister fancy pants, right?) If someone calls me I either answer it or send it straight to voice mail. You know what happens when you send it straight to voice mail? That’s right, it stops ringing. I also have a fancy button on the side of my phone that allows me to turn the ringer off, and still answer it. As soon as it rings, I hit the button, look to see who it is (quietly) and decided whether or not to answer. I understand that this isn’t for everyone. Maybe a person can’t see or hear as well. Maybe they accidentally shut off the vibration mode. Maybe there is all manner of things that keep people from answering their phones in a prompt fashion. But, there is no excuse for some of the ringers that people have decided to use nowadays. Here are some of my favorites.
- The Bicycle Horn – For the person that didn’t get the chance to annoy you enough while you were kids. Now they can from the comfort of their own EVERYWHERE.
- The Nuclear Meltdown Alarm – For the person who thinks they live in a Steven Segal straight to DVD movie. Seriously, have you ever even seen a power plant?
- The TV Theme Song – For the person that has never actually stepped foot in New York, San Fransisco, Seattle, Cleveland, or even Springfield. (Bonus points if you can name these TV shows)
- The 80′s Hit – For the person that doesn’t know how to just let it go. I lived as this person for a little while, but I grew out of it quickly. I once had “Tempted” by Squeeze as a ringtone. All good and fun until it went of during a Sunday Church Lesson.
- The Turkey Call and Shot Gun Shot – For the person that has a Red, White and Blue cell phone cover. They are the epitome of ‘Merican and will say “you can pry these guns from my cold dead hands.” (I actually would like to go turkey hunting sometime, so……just kidding.)
- The Classic Ringer – For the person who has grown into his big boy pants and is ready to take on the world. Epic, awesome, great, wonderful and cute people use this ringer. Any guesses on which ringer I like to use?
So, what ringer do you use? Is there something out there that can boil your blood faster than anything else? Woosah, woosah. Sorry about that. Count back from ten. Alright, count back from a hundred then.
I’m going to do my best in not letting this kind of stuff bother me, but I’m going to ask you to please, just answer your phone. If we need help to calm ourselves we can remember this;
These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. ~ John 16: 33
I had the Mission Impossible ring tone for awhile. It was a good one. Now I have David Cassidy singing, I think I love you. It makes me happy.
Those sound like they could be okay. As long as it makes you happy is all that matters I guess.
I think I used to have Smooth Criminal, I liked that one.
Law and Order theme was mine for a bit… but too many weirdos responded to my phone publicly ringing with, “LAW AND ORDER SVU?! RAPING BABIES YUSSSS!!”
Anyways, awesome post dude. A worthy diatribe. No one I work with knows how to a. answer their phone or b. turn the volume DOWN, let alone off, so I basically sit in a room full of ringtones all. effing. day.
Yes, I forgot about the Law and Order “Dun Dun” sound. That would be alright, as long as the weirdos stay way. Thanks, I do my best.
Brother Jon,
Been a bit absentee from reading and glad I visited you today. Due to auditory sensitivities, I tend to keep my ringer on vibrate and the phone somewhere where I’ll physically experience it. When I do allow it to generate sound, the Marimba is my ringtone.
I have to give your tv challenge a shot: The TV Theme Song – For the person that has never actually stepped foot in New York, San Fransisco, Seattle, Cleveland, or even Springfield. (Bonus points if you can name these TV shows)
NY – Friends,Seinfeld if it’s a sitcom or any number of gritty cop shows if it’s a drama theme, CSI:NY is a good one, Baba O’Reilly, aka Teenage Wasteland.
San Francisco: My fave pick would be Charmed, How Soon Is Now. Otherwise Monk’s theme song with Randy Newman would be a good one. Then there’s always Full House.
Seattle:You probably aren’t referring to Dark Angel,
Cleveland: Hot in?
Springfield, seriously? lol
Be well,
Kina
I like to keep mine on vibrate also but I’ve started to experience “phantom vibrations”, so I need the sound now.
Good job on the TV shows. That isn’t exactly what I was thinking, but they all fit. I’ll disclose the shows I had in mind later.
Thanks!!
I almost forgot to tell you what show’s I had in mind for this post. Here they are. Seinfeld, Full House, Frasier, The Drew Carrey show, and The Simpsons.
Yay! I’m glad you’re going to continue your blogging. And I like that name, “Mrs. Who.”
My ringtone is the intro from Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D Minor. I guarantee you’ve heard it even if you’re not into classical music. It’s a creepy organ riff.
Yes, me too.
Here’s the story behind Mrs. Who. Her and her husband (Short-bus) were married this past Halloween. After the wedding they held a costume party. Her son came dressed as the newest “Doctor” from Dr. Who and I guess right on what he was supposed to be. Later on I wrote a post on the other blog (http://peedeejay.wordpress.com/2012/05/26/the-beginnings-of-a-lunch-story/) and gave everyone these names, to protect their identities. Most of them have taken these names and used them to comment. It feels nice when you do something right.
I’ll have to look that up. I like creepy organ riffs.
So you’re talking about people who just let their phones ring without answering, subjecting us to hear their ‘quirky’ little ring tones? I just always thought maybe that these people want to show off their choice of ring tone so we could think how cool they are. I’d like to get one with a blood curdling scream — but I’d be sure to answer it pronto.
Yeah, there’s that one and the one that was popular a few years ago, the “excited” lady. I was always a little embarrassed to hear that orgasmic ring tone.
Love the new format, Jon!
What annoys me about people not answering their cell phone is the fact, or maybe my erroneous assumption, that you wanted a cell phone because you wanted the ability to communicate with everyone anywhere.
At least when cell phones were relatively new, it seemed everyone loved the convenience of being able to talk to someone while you were outside the house. We were no longer tied to a land line. I further assume that the cell phone shifted everyone’s paradigm allowing us the permission to call them virtually anytime or any place. In other words, since it’s socially acceptable to call anyone anywhere, people should answer their cell phones.
Thanks, I think it will work out just fine.
I can understand that some people only have a few hundred minutes allotted to them for any particular month. (I only keep 300 minutes on mine for each month. I have unlimited text though) The thing I don’t like is just letting it ring. Even older phones have a way to silence the ringer, even if you want it to continue to “ring”. Now, if I call someones cell phone I do expect something, whether it’s an answer or a message directly afterward letting me know that you have heard from me, or something like that.
hahahaha I agree!
I don’t even know what kind of ring tone I have. My phone’s ringer is never on. I always keep it on me so I never bother anyone. Cause the constant ringing is annoying as hell. Well… I’ve never been to hell actually so I don’t really know if hell is annoying but you know what I mean
Well, I think we all can agree that hell is probably very annoying, even if we’ve never been.
Thanks for stopping by.
indeed!
Cool post and cool new look. I have a different ring tone for different people. My son’s is the most annoying tone my phone has ’cause he’s that kind of kid. My daughter’s is a disco dance beat ’cause she’s all bouncy and stuff. My husband’s is classical music, my sister is some whistling dude, etc., etc. My normal ringtone for people I don’t know is the classic ringtone.
Thanks. Yes, that all makes perfect sense. I might need to do the same thing.
I’ve never been around people who didn’t answer their phone when it rang. I’m sure it would get old really fast.
My pet peeve is people who put me on hold to answer another call. I would never interrupt a conversation and put a friend on hold indefinitely while I talk to someone else. If I think the other call might be urgent, I will say, “I’ve got to answer this other call, I will call you back,” and hang up. When people put me on hold, I just hang up. They can call me back if they want, but I don’t like to hang out on hold for 10 minutes while they chat with someone else.
Yeah, I don’t like being put on hold either. If it’s a business call I can kind of understand, but if it’s someone you know, like you said, there’s no reason for that.
I will silence the ringer quickly too. I am always amazed at how some people will have their phone go off during church and it will ring and ring and ring. I can reach into my pocket and silence it without pulling it out and making a scene. Although, I almost always have mine on silent anyway. No smart phone for me, at least not yet.
I sounds like you are already smart enough, no need for a smart phone, yet.
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