It’s time for another Blogging Celebrity Interview! This week’s interviewee comes to us from Canada, the land of Eskimos, Sasquatch and maple syrup. Roller Giraffe may be one of my favorite persons ever – and I’m not just saying that. (I’m saying it because she said the same thing about me on my Birthday. Well, actually she used the word favoUrite.) Well, let’s get on with the show. What do you say, eh?
Hi Roller Giraffe, (aka RG)
How’s it going? I’ve got all sorts of brand new BFF’s and I’m in business for at least one more. What do you think? You seem like pretty much the nicest person ever…but you can’t be too sure. Your 2011 and 2012 didn’t turn out the best, so let’s see if we can start 2013 with a smile. What do you say? Here are some questions to help me get to know you better. Happy New Year!
Brother Jon! I am totally game! You seem like you’d be a good BFF because we could sit around all day and eat hot pockets. And somehow I tricked you into believing I am nice. I will totally dispel that myth by the end of this interview, probably. But being your BFF would definitely improve my outlook for 2013.
BroJo: What is your favorite Gordon Lightfoot song?
RG: Alberta Bound. It’s both about this blessed, cursed province I live in and it’s romantical. It also takes a shot at Toronto, which is endearing to any Canadian who does not live in Toronto. But if Sundown comes on the Karaoke, watch out because I am totally wrecking your eardrums with my vocal stylings.
BroJo: Cory Monteith and Elisha Cuthbert. What do you have to say about that?
RG: Ok, so Cory Monteith makes me feel old and sad because he is just some kid from the same city as me who randomly ended up making gazillions of dollars on a crappy show that will be played on loop in my personal vision of hell. Is he dating Elisha Cuthbert? I am only vaguely aware of most pop culture stuff like that, even though I read gossip magazines religiously I can rarely tell all the young things apart. (shakes old lady fist at all the short skirts and boy crazy shenanigans). (Editor’s Note: They are not dating….she is from the same place – originally. Sorry I didn’t clarify it that well.)
BroJo: How many times have you been stung by bees? (And…can I get some honey?)
RG: Three times: Once when I was a kid, once during my beekeeping adventures last summer (and I was quite stoic I might add; I didn’t want to look like a wuss at a beekeeping workshop), and once while I was picking up my wedding dress. I was wearing a Hustler t-shirt and walked into the dress shop swearing like a sailor over my swollen foot. Classy.
This year I will be doing a bee workshop and adding two more hives to my bee empire, so HONEY FOR EVERYONE!
BroJo: So, Twins: If you spank one does the other feel it? Wait a second…never mind. Maybe you don’t spank, but maybe you do. Sorry, but I DON’T KNOW YOUR LIFE! Let me try that again. So, Twins: If you take away ones Spider-Man outfit does the other one get upset? There, that’s better.
RG: If one gets heck I get this face from the other one:
YOU DON’T TALK TO HIM LIKE THAT!!
*Sigh*
BroJo: What is your favorite flavor of Hot Pocket?
RG: Thanksgiving, hands down. Why isn’t that a real thing yet? The good people at Hot Pocket Inc. really don’t know what they’re doing. (Editor’s Note: Tom Cruise would even eat these things!)
BroJo: Why are there so many pictures of Stephen Harper with kittens? Creepy much?
RG: I believe it to be the worst PR move in history. I mean really:
Crazy cat person, or respectable G7 leader?
You just know he strangled all those cats after that was over.
BroJo: Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number, so call me, maybe? (This is up to Mr. Giraffe, of course.)
RG: I will totally butt dial the heck out of you, Brother Jon. I even managed to butt text someone a dozen times last week, so there’s that.
BroJo: Do you know how to roller skate? Roller Blade? Skate Board?
RG: Mr. Giraffe bought me roller blades 13 years ago for my birthday. He pushed me down a hill the first day, not believing how clumsy I was, and I ended up sliding a fair distance on my butt cheeks in short shorts. I couldn’t sit for a week because of the oozing sores and still have scars. My only consolation is that I took Mr. Giraffe down with me.
RG: It was probably the best experience of my life. I am not sure I can say the same for all the good, kind folks who saw my sturdy underoos and rollerblading scars that day though.
BroJo: There seems to be a lot of great bloggers out there named Jen. What’s the deal? I’m a dude, so I don’t know, but is there some prerequisite for WordPress concerning lady names?
RG: Jen, Jon; pretty close. I think Jen was just the default name for every girl born to my generation. However, I agree that there are some really excellent Jens out there. There’s also some real duds. I am looking at you, Jennifer Aniston. What have you done for us lately? Tanning in Cabo and having nice hair is not a job.
BroJo: Who’s your favorite Mormon Blogger? (You want a hint?)
RG: Brother Jon! I think we can just say favourite Mormon all around. And be thankful that you don’t live near me because I would be meddling in your dating life trying to find you a nice girl. I don’t know any nice girls, so that’s why it would be a problem. (Editor’s Note: I thought everyone from Canada was nice, dontcha know.)
RG: My printer is mercifully free of random debris. I think. I hear the kids upstairs now, so I am sure that there will be a pair of scissors and a bottle of children’s Advil in there before bedtime.
BroJo: A lot of your posts are tagged with “Humor” instead of “Humour”. Are you sure you’re Canadian?
RG: They’re trying to kick me out because I hate Tim Hortons and don’t know all the rules to hockey still.
BroJo: Should I try Poutine? I like fries…and gravy….and CHEESE Curds. We have something like this in America. It’s called the KFC Famous Bowl. It has mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, fried chicken and topped with shredded cheese.
RG: We have the KFC famous bowl here too, along with the most terrifying of all fast food items: the double down. The double down, like poutine, should come with its own automatic external defibrillator. I have always wanted to administer one of those so I’ll go with you to try poutine. Also let me know if you have food allergies, because I have always wanted to stab someone with an epi-pen too. I don’t know why. (Editor’s Note: Forget that comment about all Canadians being nice.)
BroJo: I think I read that you and your husband like Jazz music. Michael Bublé? My brother was in jazz band in High School. He can play the saxophone, clarinet, some piano, some drums, some harmonica and, since last Christmas, the ukulele.
RG: Wowza! Mr. Giraffe is also musically inclined, and I am deeply envious of such talents. I can clap in rhythm, if you define “rhythm” as hitting one beat per song. I like all kinds of music, including jazz, but I draw the line somewhere between a guy playing a keyboard with his face (awesome) and a guy playing drums ON his face (decidedly not awesome).
Hopefully we can still be friends after all these painful admissions, Brother Jon.
*****
We will most definitely still be friends. If you’ve managed to make it to the end…thanks, but I’m not surprised. Being the professional that she is, RG is the first blogger to send pictures w/ captions. She’s also the first one to answer my fake e-mail passage with one of her own. Thanks RG, it’s been fun! Until next time….turn up the mic and let’s get down.
Sundown (Gordon Lightfoot album) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
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**Update**
Here is a link to a podcast that provides a shout out for me! Yea! (I’m adding it hear because it involves Gordon Lightfoot. Check it out.)
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BroJo and RG,
You guys can be BFF, as long as you are both my BFF4EVS™.
And let it be known: once you go poutine, you don’t go back.
Le Clown
PS: Loved this interview: two of the classiest of class acts I know.
Thank you Le Clown. I’m sure we can arrange that. And I’m looking forward to the day that I try poutine.
You can’t go back, because of the heart disease.
Wow, I have never heard anyone refer to me as a class act; clearly associating with Brother Jon has improved my life in many ways.
Three cheers for Rollergiraffe! She is one of my favorite people as well. And now that I know she’s always wanted to stab someone with an Epi-Pen, I think she’s now My Absolute Favorite Person. But that photo of Harper with the kittens is about as comforting as a photo of Ted Bundy with bunnies would be.
Indeed, thanks Weebs. (I’m so happy I’m not allergic to things) Well, at least Ted Bundy was a looker…right? Unless…you’re talking about the TV show.
No one was as nervous about the epi-pen thing as my cubicle neighbor at my last job. He was allergic to peanut butter and deeply suspicious of me. And Weebs… back atcha, babe.
BroJo, is there not a link to RG’s blog? If so, where is it? I can’t find it. If not, shame.
Both links under the Hot Pocket question are links to RG’s Site….along with the 4000 pound cow link. You don’t click on the links provided for you? For Shame.
Um…darn. I didn’t even notice there were links in those answers…. *hangs head in shame*
It’s okay. I forgave you before I even answered.
Woohoo!!!
As a conflict avoider, I am quite gratified this was resolved before I even got out of bed this morning.
No worries. BroJo is the man. There was no chance of that.
Yeah….what he said.
I just left a comment and it disappeared. I think it may have gone into your anonymous thingey. Why??!! Grr. Anyway, if I can remember I said this:
BroJo, this was a hilarious and you and RG make a great team. I love RG — she is so entertaining and down to earth. And so are you. BTW, where can I get a Thanksgiving hotpocket? Do I have to cross the border into Canada and if so, how long does it take to thaw out there? Is it better than a poutine?
All is fixed…as if it never happened. I hope you’re doing okay….in spite of this. I think you can only get these Hot Pockets at RG’s house. I’ll let her elaborate more on that. Sorry for your troubles.
Brigitte, as always thanks for the kind words. Brother Jon mentioned the idea for Thanksgiving hot pockets a long time ago and I prototyped them with my Christmas leftovers. And took pictures of it: http://rollergiraffe.com/2012/12/26/turkey-hot-pockets-post-christmas-letdown-recipes-edition/ I have to say, they were much better than poutine.
RG is the type of bride I want to be.
Not that I want to get married though.
Well, it’s a good thing I never asked.
I’ll shack up, but marriage? Nahhhh.
You keep your heathen ways away from me you Ginger Devil!
Muhahahah!
That’s nice.
Was it the hustler t-shirt? I somehow lost that gem somewhere along the way. Not the memory of the bee sting though. You could always get married just for the dramatic annulment a few weeks later, Kardashian or Spears style.
It was, in fact, the hustler shirt. And the swearing.
My inlaws were duly impressed.
They shouldn’t have been
.
That was an awesome interview. RG is everything I aspire to be. And if I ever spontaneously turn into a Mormon male, I’d want to be you too, BroJo.
You’re the bestest. You deserve so much more than raisin diapers.
Thanks Emily. I hope that never happens to you, but thanks anyway.
I think the mentioning of poutine helped remind us there at the end not to trust a Canadian despite how wonderful they may seem after the first few questions. What kind of people would do that?
Poutine is not quite the national dish Quebeckers would like us to think it is. In fact, my introduction to it was in the food court at the mall at New York Fries. It’s all deception and lies.
How do I know this isn’t just one big lie too? Poutine is the dish of the liars. The day I trust a Canadian is the day one trusts me.
Fair point. You can choose to believe that this website is real, or that I just spent the last 10 minutes making it it up: http://www.newyorkfries.com/. You should know that I am both lazy and technologically incompetent. That is the truth.
10 minutes to a Canadian is like 50 days to Americans. Everybody knows that. I understand how Day Lights Savings works.
I think you have that backwards….I remember from the movie “30 Days of Night” or something like that.
So Roller Giraffe is even more amazing than we all thought? Geez. She put that whole website together in 5 seconds….
Very little wonder I am aging so rapidly.
Reblogged this on the rollergiraffe and commented:
I answered all of Jon’s with all the integrity of Manti Te’o and Lance Armstrong combined. And the hilarity of Kim Jong Un. Now we’re BFF’s, Read it!
You nailed it. WINNING!
I agree!
I am still in awe over the fact that she keeps bees. I have a hard enough time getting one to stay away from my sandwich, let alone produce honey for me.
Also, those pictures of the kittens is so strange, but I’m going to assume that’s the Canadian version of American politicians who kiss babies. I mean, THAT’S a little creepy too. Just kissing random people’s kids like that?
I think the word Politician is Latin for Creepy….or something like that.
The ones harassing your sandwich are likely wasps and/or hornets and should be murdered post-haste. No joke: http://vimeo.com/34835549
I am not sure which is weirder.. kissing babies or strangling kittens. I would prefer my politicians to be rational automatons who don’t embarrass themselves trying to show off personalities they don’t have.
Jon, This is another fantastic interview. I’m just a wee bit jealous because although I am also Canadian, RollerGiraffe does it so much better. (That, and the bee thing. And the funny. And the awesome. Etc.)
Thank you, and don’t be jealous. Your time of Awesome will come. (Your entry for “Wrangler” was really great.)
Thanks Bro Jon. I Wrangle from afar.
I see we are now FB friends, with both of your personalities. Double good.
No problem. Yes! They are similar….but different enough at times.
No room for self-deprecation here, lady. You do the awesome just fine all on your own.
Alrighty then. But I do stand in your shadow. Mostly because you have a good 4 inches on me.
RG – you can come to my house and stab someone here with an epi-pen….we have ‘em!
Ruta, why don’t you come on up here? Bring the whole family and i will feed you Thanksgiving hot pockets in October.
Don’t say Hotpockets in front of my kid else you’ll have him permanently. I WOULD LOVE TO COME UP! What’s in your Thanksgiving hotpocket?
So how TALL are you???
I am 5’9″, but a lot taller when sitting on top of a ceramic cow. I am totally going to hold court on one for the rest of my life.
Thanksgiving hot pocket is: turkey, sweet potato with apples and pecans, roasted brussel sprouts with bacon, cranberries, gravy, mashed potatoes. Basically Thanksgiving dinner in a hot pocket. BroJo’s idea.
Ruta…that tall thing was in reference to her being a Giraffe…but not many people got it. A lot of people seem to be asking her that.
I figured her being tall and the giraffe went together….unless she was spotted with a long neck.
Love the new gravatar! Such a cutie!
Thank you. Figured if I changed my tag line…better change the picture to match it too.
My interview is up next. The pressure is on. I hope mine is as good.
Yep, it sure it. Can’t wait to see what you have for me!
Great Blogging Celebrity Interview, Brother Jon.
You’re the kind of ally every blogger needs!
Thanks….many more on the way!
I LOVE POUTINE!! Just had to put that out there.
Also, if I am ever in need of an epi-pen shot, I shall gladly give RG the honor of stabbing me in the thigh. Hopefully she’s close to me because I will require a fast response time…
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