An Interview with my favorite Stormtrooper

TwinDaddy!

Thanks for doing this. I think we’re pretty much BFF’s already (or at least I’m a person that you wouldn’t shoot). But a few questions couldn’t hurt. What do you say?

Enjoy,

BroJo

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As long as you don’t almost get me force-choked by Vader like Le Clown did then I don’t see what it would hurt.

Darth Vader in The Empire Strikes Back (1980) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

BroJo: So, that Storm Trooper that bonked his head on the door header…that was you, wasn’t it?

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TD: Can I plead the fifth?  Does that work in interviews?  Um, no…

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BroJo: Twins? (That is probably all the question you can afford right now.)

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TD: Yeah.  The hospital decided one wasn’t enough and took my kid to the xerox machine there and made me another one.  I’m not sure how I was selected for that program.

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BroJo: Baby C… (which is a different Baby C from this person’s Baby C) Star Wars fan?

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TD: Absolutely.  He goes bonkers at the beginning of every movie when the music starts and the opening crawl is, uh, crawling across the screen.  He also likes to play with all the collectibles I have which make noise, the most notable of which is a Darth Vader coin bank which plays the Imperial March when you press the button or drop a coin inside.  The batteries are about dead in that. Finally.

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BroJo: How do you feel about Star Trek?

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TD: I like Star Trek, but it’s got nothing on Star Wars.  I will say that JJ Abrams has really breathed life back into that franchise and I’m hoping he can to the same for that galaxy far, far away.

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BroJo: Have you seen the Epic Rap Battles of History One (Here) and Two (Here) with Darth Vader?

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I have not.  I will have to Bing that.

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BroJo: You post a lot. How do you keep up?

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TD: Actually, my post count will probably go down soon.  I blog a lot at work because of downtime, but we just started a new project which will keep me pretty occupied.  I’m already way behind on my reading and I think my goal of at least one post a day is going to have to be reevaluated.

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BroJo: Do you schedule your post…or do you upload them right after you’re done writing?

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TD: It depends. Sometimes I make my posts for two to three days in a row and I schedule those.  Sometimes I do a post the night before I want to publish it and schedule it for the next morning.  Most of my posts, however, I publish as soon as I’m finished writing them.

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BroJo: Star Wars VII, VIII and IX?

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TD: I’m stoked.

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BroJo: Have you ever written a post that was exactly 1138 words long? I bet you will now.

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TD: Sadly, no.

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BroJo: What did you think about the movie Fan Boys?

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TD: It was pretty fun, actually.  I was surprised how much I liked it.  I haven’t seen it in a while and need to watch it again, though.

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BroJo: How often do you wash your suit?

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TD: I don’t.  I make the kids to it.  Parenting bonus!

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BroJo: Do you stay away from spicy food? You know…because it might lead to fartiness.

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TD: Oh, man.  Spicy food is my weakness.  I love it.  Sadly, I can only eat it on my days off or otherwise I’d dutch oven myself to death.

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BroJo: What color of suit do you wear after Labor Day?

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TD: Strangely enough, the Emperor doesn’t care about labor day so we still have to wear white, but I would love to have one of those black suits of armor. They look so much cooler than the white ones.

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BroJo: How is it that all of those Jedi’s died…but Jar Jar Binks survived?

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TD: I have no effin’ clue.  If I ever see that stupid Gungan I’ll make like Greedo and shoot first.

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BroJo: When are we going to collaborate on a….wait, never mind?

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TD: On a what?  A meal?  A novel?  A poem?  A blog….oh.  I see what you did there.

Storm Trooper (Photo credit: Brady Withers)

Who would you have me interview next?

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Hmmm…..how about Steph from She Said What?

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Looks like I got some research to do. Until next time, keep on keeping on. Don’t forget to check out TwinDaddy Here.

To: 1st of the 135th ARB…From: BroJo and Many Friends

When I first learned that I had new fans from the 1st of the 135th Attack Recon Battalion, I got to thinking about putting something special together for the men and women preparing in Fort Hood. I mean, they may be my fans…but I’m sure they have some fans of their own. So, I reached out to some of my friends in the WordPress community, and this is what they helped me make.

Please click on their pictures or names to visit their sites. I would suggest you do that with each and every one of them…multiple times.

Thank you Bruddah, and all the other men and women in your unit…along with all the men and women in ALL other units (past and present) for your devout service. It is most appreciated.

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Please Click Here For A Special B0nus Post From Kessabug!

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Jen and Tonic

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A lot of people say that bloggers write because they feel a compulsion to share a part of themselves, and connect with others on a personal level. The truth is, we write in hopes that hot military guys will read our stuff, and fall in love with us. ~ Jen from Sips of Jen and Tonic

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Emily @ The Waiting

Hi guys! I don’t want to be too specific, but I have to “bragg” that I live very close to a pretty large base in a certain Carolina. Hint: it’s the Carolina that makes all the cigarettes. YOU’RE WELCOME. Living in a community based around the military (get it? Based? I kill myself.), I’ve learned the value of what it is you guys do. The very literal value. Nearly every business in my town gives out a military discount which I cannot partake of because neither my husband and I are in the military. I wish I could get 30% off my oil changes at Jiffy Lube and 20% off my iced latte! But what are you going to do?

Seriously, though, thank you so much for the work you do for us and our country every day. A lot of my friends and neighbors are military spouses so I see first-hand the sacrifices you make. Sacrifices that are only hinted at in discounted products and Memorial Day parades. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your tireless vigilance and bravery. 

Emily @ The Waiting

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David Harding

Like the dripping of the rain,
Upon the roof, tin roof,
Of the train.
The train that travels past so fast,
Through the night, to the last
Stop.
So your footfalls and the footsteps of your team mates
Echo all around.
Upon the ground.
However many you are,
However far away you’ll be,
Invisible wires connect us all,
I hope you’ll feel,
What you can’t see.

~David Harding

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Becca

A big hey y’all to BroJo’s Bro (that was surprisingly really fun to say in my head) and all of BroJo’s Bro’s Bros over there in Fort Hood! It makes me extremely giddy to know that our troops enjoy reading blogs too. If I could send you all a nice pair of toasty camouflage  long johns in appreciation, I would in a heartbeat! Keep calm and chive on from a Louisiana native and openly faux redhead.

Becca @ 25 To Fly

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Dear Brother Jon’s brother,

Ericka Clay

Thank you and your buddies for being amazing human beings and keeping our country safe.  Your hard work at keeping me alive and well 24/7 has really paid off because I’ve been able to glitter thirty new cats who I have all named “Dave Coulier.”

As a sign of my appreciation for your hard work, I’ve sent you ten newly glittered cats by mail.  I think you’ll be particularly impressed by Dave Coulier #7′s impression of Al Pacino in Scarface.  Impeccable.

Take care and meow,

Ericka Clay, Cat Enthusiast

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Lily

Yo, Bro Jon’s Brother. Also known as the Brother of Brother Jon. Also known as Bro Jo Yo-Yo Fro Yo. (I heard you read these posts out loud so hopefully you sound like a big weirdo now.)

A little bird told me that every morning your read Jon’s blog posts to all of your service buds. That’s so cute. Is that part of your training regimen? If that’s what people do in the Army, I think I could totally join.

Also, I liked the picture of Jon in his pajama pants that you posted. He thought he looked pretty suave in his suit but you really showed him! Someone’s gotta tell him that wearing all orange is a big fashion faux pas. I nominate you to break the news to him.

But for reals, thanks for serving our country and doing all that army stuff. Nice work. Bro Jon seems to have a great brother. One of the lucky ones!

Lily @ Lily In Canada

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Aunt Sandee

Dear Russ,

You must be a real cool brother, coming from the same stock as Jon.  I enjoy reading his posts as well, and love his anecdotes about family.  He tells us that you’re off to Afghanistan, which adds another element of special to the mix.Your service to our country means a lot to me.  It touches me when a young man or woman makes this decision, taking a pledge to put their life on the line to protect our people.  It doesn’t surprise me that someone in Jon’s family would be this honorable.  All of us who know about you through Jon will keep you in our hearts, thoughts and prayers while you are away.  Please take care of yourself and know that you are appreciated…  Thank you Russ!

Yours,

Sandee

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Society Red (John Whitney)

Russ,

Your brother Jon is one of my blogging friends. Until the other day when you posted that hilarious photo of him in his pj’s I had no idea he even had a brother, much less a brother who is a member of the 1/135^th Attack Recon Battalion.

I want you and your fellow soldiers to know that I think you and the rest of our forces are the biggest reason this country is great. It’s easy for those of us in the states to get wrapped up in whatever bullshit is going on and forget why we are able to be concerned about menial life problems and such. You are the reason why. Thank you.

I was born in the late 50’s. I regret that I have no prior service but basically I am a pussy when it comes to soldiering. The Vietnam War draft stopped when I was 16. Until then I was scared shitless that I would be drafted and be called up. I did not agree with the war then but I never felt anything but respect for those who served for that cause.

I read the article in the Monett Times about you speaking at your high school assembly. The things you said, the way you honored your father, the fact that you and your team devote your time and lives to this country makes me proud to be a citizen of this great country.

Thank you and your team and your father for all that you do and have done for this great country. You are appreciated and loved.

I hope one day to shake your hand and thank you in person.

John Whitney

Seattle, Washington

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Christopher De Voss

To the men and women of the 1st of the 135th Attack Recon Battalion,

Thank you for the service to our country.

Here are some interesting, (could not exactly be quite…accurate facts) about Afghanistan.

Kabul is the capital of Afghanistan. The literal translation of Kabul is “anti-disney”.

Afghanistan is the 41st largest country in the world and is the 42nd most populous country in the world. It’s leading export is the question, “What is the leading export of Afghanistan?”

Afghanistan is the world’s largest consumer of beard combs and oddly enough has a stock pile of beard nets to last for the next 100 years.

Qabli Pulaski and Kabobs are popular local dishes as well as the fast food offering of the McGoat burger. Sand is a popular dessert among the toddlers.

The burka is a popular and sexy dress the woman of Afghanistan wear. The leading manufacturer of burka’s slogan is: “You can never cover enough of your body. Buy a burka to wear backwards over your burka for maximum coverage.”

Afghanistan’s official languages are Dari and Pashto, and second languages include English, Screaming and Spitting, and Klingon.

Afghanistan oddly enough does not manufacture Afghans, nor can you find anyone named Stan there. Weird but true.

I hope you enjoyed this little lesson, be safe, watch each other’s backs, and I will have a fresh baked apple pie and a beer waiting for you.

Christopher De Voss

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ChowderHead

Dear Brother Jon’s Brother, and all the other dudes at the Fort Hood, um, Fort:

Hey, real quick, remember that show, Dear John?  You know, that corny 80’s dramedy featuring Judd Hirsch?  Yeah, me either.

Thank you all for your commitment.  You have larger balls and a bigger heart than I.  My job is too cozy, now that I think about it…Hey, is team U.S. hiring?  Pssh.  I’d never even make it into the chopper without loose-stooling in my pants…

All jokes aside, a cold Miller toast to all you brave young fellas heading overseas, and a gigantic Rock Star Salute from a fellow countryman.  Good luck over there and get home safe.  \m/

ChowderHead

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TwinDaddy

Russ,

BroJo has informed me that the 1st of the 135th Attack Recon Battalion will be deployed to Afghanistan shortly. From one faux-trooper to real, bad ass, troopers I would like to thank you all for serving.  Be safe over there, and we look forward to your return.

TwinDaddy

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Maddie

Hi Russ! I’ve been snooping around your Facebook page to find out a little more about you, and I see you are a handsome fellow! I started with your music choices — about an hour ago! I’ve been listening to some pretty great music ever since. I started with Everymen, and that’s some drinking music right there. There’s a bluegrass influence in some of your choices. My mother and grandmother loved bluegrass, and it was played often in our home. Wagon Wheel – love that song! Hey mama rock me! I’m finishing up my listening tour with the Rolling Stones and Start Me Up. Thanks for the memories of 1981 and dancing in dive bars. It was a fun time.

I’ll check out your movie and TV picks later, but I see Storage Wars listed, and I’ll be watching two new episodes tonight to see what Barry is up to.

Finally, I want to thank you and all the guys and gals there with you for serving. My family never takes you for granted, and you are all always in our prayers. My husband and I like to get out in the summer on our 1984 Honda Goldwing. It’s an oldie, but still going strong. I don’t wear a helmet, and that makes people crazy, but I love the sun on my face and the wind in my hair. We mostly ride through some beautiful Amish country, and it is at those times I am especially reminded of how grateful I am to be able to enjoy what we have and the world around us – even if it does smell like cow and pig manure quite often. But it is because of people like you that we are free to do the things we love. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. ~ Maddie

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Mooselicker

Dear BroJoBroSoldjo

How’s it going? I guess you can’t really answer that because I did not include a self-addressed stamped envelope for you to reply. Can you shout loudly? If you can shout your response to my question loudly maybe I will hear it. I am not too sure I will though. My neighbors are noisy.

I heard you are an army man. Does that mean if I put you in a microwave you would melt? I’m not saying I will. I am simply asking because if it’s a “yes” then I will know you are legit. Of course, you are not “too legit to quit” because you cannot quit the army. You can only be discharged from the army. My grandmother has a discharge from a blister on her foot. She got it because she wears flip-flops in the rain.

Did you know some army men make videos asking celebrities out on dates? I think you should do that. You have the Hagar charm. Sara Jessica Parker would probably go to a dance with you if you make a video. Or you could ask someone out who is actually attractive and has a real movie career. It’s your choice.

Do you really read Brother Jon’s blog posts out loud to your friends? That’s really cool. It’s probably a great way to get them to go to sleep when they are having trouble resting. Purple Monkey Dishwasher I Like Banana Superfragilisticespialidocious. Did you have to read that out loud? I hope so.

Good luck to you and all of your friends in Afghanistan. It takes a special breed of person to be able to do what you’re doing. We’re all thankful and proud of each of you for making the decision to join the military and defend our way of life.

Sincerely,
Me

P.S. Do you know Santa?

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Letter to a Brother of a Brother

Dear bro of BroJo (who Jo?

You know who, Jo!)

Who, by light of moon

Is leaving soon,

Monk Monkey

On fighter jet or tank or war balloon,

(I’m not sure how)

But the point is: now

This man, this bro, is saying “ciao.”

And so we sit,

Watch bit by bit,

Not doing much at all.

While he stands tall

Against it all -

All that the world may throw at him.

I hope he goes to the gym

First.

God blesseth thee.

God. Blesseth. Thee.

Amen, brother.

~Monk Monkey

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Carrie Rubin

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I wish your brother the best of luck. I’m sure it’s stressful for him as well as your family. He has my utmost respect and admiration, and I hope all goes well for him. ~ Carrie Rubin, Author

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I would like to thank all of my friends here who were able to help me out. Once again…click on their faces to visit their sites. Don’t worry, they don’t mind. I promise it won’t hurt them. Really…do it. Please. NOW!

Thanks!

P.S. The pictures from Kessabug’s post were taken during my visit there this past Memorial Day Weekend.

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Please Click Here For A Special B0nus Post From Kessabug!

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The Age of Bloggers

I know what some of you must be thinking right now. Is that title meant literally, or figuratively? Oh, you weren’t thinking that? Well you are now, aren’t you? Now I wonder what you all are thinking. Did Brother Jon forget to pray today? He’s acting kind of funny.

Two Hundred and Five Days From Now…

…I’m going to finally meet some of the fastest friends I’ve ever made.

Q & A with Photo-Bio (Say Cheese!!)

Today we head over to Photo-Bio to have an interview in the smallest place possible…a photo booth. I’ve known the author for as long as all of the other interviewees put together. Check it out…and his site. Here, here and here.

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Photo-Bio (Aka Matt)

Do you mind if I call you Matt? Anyway, I figured it was about time I interviewed someone I grew up with…not just someone I know. Good think you came along to fill that blogging void. I’d like to introduce you to my readers…but that involves answering some questions. What do you say?

BroJo,

It’s great to hear from you. Of course you can call me by my first name, most people do.  I’d love to answer your questions also, but take my answers along with everything else on the old inter-web. You can’t believe everything you read…

BroJo: Matt, we’ve known each other for almost 20 years now…crazy! How’s life been since High School Graduation?

Matt: 20 years? We can’t be that old can we? Life has been good overall. I went to college, then to graduate school, then got married, decided to have kids later, spent my money on traveling and didn’t save any for kids, then decided to wait even longer to have kids, wondered If we were willing to trade our freedom for kids, watched all of our friends have kids and give up their freedom, then decided to take a break from being a professional counselor to spend time doing my hobbies which means no income and now I don’t have to wonder about kids because I couldn’t support one if I had one.

BroJo: Speaking of High School – some of the best music back then came from the Backstreet Boys (Tell me why!) What kind of stuff are you listening to nowadays?

Matt: Great question, I don’t really have much time to check out new stuff since I spend almost all of my free time enslaved by the melodic shackles of Michael Bolton, Air Supply, and Creed. Anyone who can move past these has my undying respect. In all honesty, I like a variety of music but have been on a folk revival kick as of late.  The Lumineers, Mumford and Sons, and Of Monsters and Men seem to be getting a lot of play. Also I frequently go back to Florence and the Machine. I can’t get enough of her powerful voice.

BroJo: The last time we hung out was at our Ten Year Class Reunion. I was a little (a lot) wasted, so I don’t remember. Did you ever get a haircut?

Matt: AHA! Trick question. Do you mean the hair on my head or my beard? The former gets chopped about every two years purely due to laziness. The latter depends on formal events I must attend. If a wedding comes up, I shave. Usually I grow the beard out a few levels, past the Proud stage, and I hover somewhere between the Amish stage and Walt Whitman. I sense your next question, and no, I have not made it to the Chris Kringle stage.  The remaining body hair may or may not be removed through a calculated and sometimes painful process, but I cannot comment on this here. To learn more you must go to:

www.mattsbodyhairremovalthroughacalculatedandsometimespainfulprocess.com

You must be 21 years of age or older to view.. (Editor’s Note: I don’t think this is a real site…but try it out anyway.)

BroJo: In Middle School I remember you having to blow your nose, like all the time. Is this still true?

Matt: This question is proof that there is nothing worth remembering or talking about from middle school. It is a horrible time in life, and I think most people agree. I first tried to think of something embarrassing and humiliating to say about you from middle school, but honestly I can’t think of anything.  On the off-chance that you asked this out of concern for my health as an adult, the answer is no. Luckily my body has learned that it doesn’t have to secret 10% of my total body’s water content each day. Also, moving to different areas with less pollen has helped.

BroJo: You shared the same name with someone younger than you in school. I imagine this must be like being known as Russ’s Older Brother…as I was. Was it?

Matt: Actually nobody in our school ever mistook either of us as the other, nor did they refer to him as say “ridiculously good-looking” when they meant me. We were opposite in many ways. He was muscular, I was not. He was in the cool sports like football, and I was in golf. He likely had romantic attachments to girls who reciprocated the sentiment, whereas I went to dances with girls that had just broken up with their boyfriends and wanted to be there with somebody to make them jealous. The police did show up at my house once looking for someone by my name, but it happened to be the other one as the problematic incident required a strength that I obviously did not possess.

BroJo: Photo Booths, huh? What’s next, if you’re ever done…Phone Booths perhaps?

Matt: No.

BroJo: What kind of Super Hero would change inside of a Photo Booth?

Matt: The kind that likes to have pictures taken while changing clothes. Perhaps Professor Perve or maybe The Lewd Lord Newd.  (Actually, Superman was in a photo-booth as we know from Superman III, in 1983)

BroJo: So…what sparked such a great interest in Photo Booths?

Matt: Well I was born in one to start. Not really, but that would be a great story. I guess I’m just drawn to how fun they are and intrigued by their potential. In the modern age of photographic editing, there is something refreshing and beautiful about a still image with a fixed depth that is never tampered with. Especially with chemical-based black and white booths, each strip is unique and no matter how you try, it cannot be exactly the same. There is no copy, no negative. It is one of a kind.

BroJo: What is your favorite ‘pop culture’ Photo Booth? I liked the one from New Girl. “Jess, this is my new home…”

Matt: 1984 wins as the best year for photo-booths, in my opinion. Among other films where booths made an appearance, two of them are tied for my favorite: The Terminator and The Karate Kid. In The Terminator, a character hides successfully then emerges holding a pistol. In The Karate Kid, Daniel and Ali show us what booths are made for – good old-fashioned fun.

BroJo: Where’s the easiest place to find a Photo Booth?

Matt: That depends on if you live in a major city in France or in an unincorporated hamlet in Iceland.  It may be across the country or right down the block. The best place to look for a photo-booth (vintage chemical booths, not low quality mall digital booths) is at www.photobooth.net.

There is a Booth Locator section where you can search for booths near you.

BroJo: What is your opinion about pictures that are taken outside of a Photo Booth?

Matt: There’s a lot I could say, but most of it would be boring and probably inaccurate. I think the ability to take pictures at all is an amazing thing. We can capture moments in time, see family members long after they are gone, be taken to distant places that no longer exist or that we can’t reach. Taking pictures is so easy that everybody is a photographer now. If you are not a technical person, then you can do some touch-ups later in any number of editing programs. All of that is great too. Photo-booths are a dying breed that employs a photographic style which is nearly extinct.  I simply prefer photo-booth pictures because they require a lot of effort on the front end and none afterwards.

BroJo: Fake Biographies, huh? What’s next…a fake Autobiography perhaps?

Matt: Actually, before long there will be a picture or two of me. I too will have a fake name and a fake biography. So, yes, in a way it will be a fake autobiography.

BroJo: What kind of writing have you done other than Fake Bios?

Matt: I’ve written bad poetry, a few short stories, and several research papers for psychology and counseling classes. I’m not a writer.  I have committed recently to writing regular post-cards and letters to friends. Hopefully I can stay disciplined with it.

BroJo: What other hobbies do you have?

Matt: I have too many to have time to enjoy them all.  Some of the big ones are writing, photography, music, travel, and thinking of different ways that I should be exercising.

BroJo: How many girls have turned you down when asked to dance?

Matt: What a cleverly disguised insult this is BroJo. Good for you.  Not only have I never been asked to dance, but I have never been asked anything by a girl who could be construed as romantically suggestive. Luckily for me, I found a woman to marry me without needing to have dancing skills. I dance sometimes, but she usually asks me to stop.

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There you go. If you didn’t get a chance to check out his site you can here, here, here, here and here.

Walt Whitman and Peter Doyle, circa 1869 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Related articles

• Prelude to an Interview (A Reunion Story) (brotherjonspage.wordpress.com)

Prelude to an Interview (A Reunion Story)

My ten-year high school reunion took place about three years ago. I never really had any intentions of going…but I got tricked into it the night of the “bar get together”.

The weekend of the reunion was the same as a surprise birthday party we were having for a family member. I figured this party was going to be way better so I just opted to stay and not worry about all of my old classmates….until. A couple that was attending the party, were also the parents of one of my classmates. Towards the end of the night they were summoned to go pick up their daughter…so…my date for the night seized this opportunity to drag me to the bar where the get together was happening. I didn’t really have much say in the matter now that I think about it. She came up to me and said “hey, we’re going to your reunion!” Okay…lets go.

She drove cause I was clearly in no shape to be doing anything…much less be seen in public. I don’t remember much…but bear with me.

I found a nice nook next to some guys I went to school with. I may have been an obnoxious drunk…cause I can remember one of them leaving, but whatever. I ended up staying in this spot for the majority of the time we were there. I gave my date my card and she ordered us a couple of drinks…remember this.

I enjoyed conversation with many people that I hadn’t seen in nearly ten years. I can remember telling one guy “You know…back in high school you were a douche bag…but you’re alright now.” I’m not sure how he reacted…and don’t remember caring that much at the time.

I talked mostly with a guy that I had gone through Catholic School with and another guy that you will hear more from come Friday, the author of Photo-Bio. You see, as far as I know I was the only one from our class that blogged…regularly….until now. This is a really cool site that I want everyone to be introduced to…so much so that I’m talking about it twice.

Photo Booth (Photo credit: Alicia photographs)

At Photo-Bio you will first see a photo-booth pic (or pics) accompanied by a little bio back story that goes along with it. It’s really fun. Check it out…now! Please.

English: Photo booth in Genoa. Deutsch: Fotoautomat in Genua. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Go ahead…I’ll give you a few minutes.

Alright, are you back? Okay, where was I? Oh yeah…

So…I drunkenly carried on these conversations for about an hour or so (I think) and then it was time to go. We left and she dropped me off at home. The next day I noticed the receipt for our tab…which was $8. She was generous enough to award our very hard-working bartender a $20 tip.

Moral of the story you ask? Don’t go to class reunions. They cost too much.

Hooked on Tonics Answered for Me

It’s that time of the week again. Jen stops by to let us peek into her soul. Have a look…

Vyvy from Vyvacious Eats….Essentially an Interview with Batman

It’s interview time!! This is the part of the post where I introduce who I’m interviewing…I think you can figure it out on your own.

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After The Fresh Press…Mmmmm, Taste Goooood

Freshly Pressed. Not bad for a little ole Mormon out in South West Missouri that steals “borrows” his internet from the laundry mat from across the street…amirite? (Longest. Sentence. Ever.) This has been a wonderful experience. I’ve seen in the past where people will write the “this is me” post just after getting pressed, for all of their new followers. I intend to do that…but first, since I am a design engineer, some numbers, that are still growing. Since getting Pressed…

An Interview with a Big Phat CREATIVE LIAR!!!

Hey guys! What better way to introduce myself to the new followers then by introducing them to someone else. It’s yet again time for a Celebrity Blogger Interview. Today we have Ericka Clay over at Creative Liar. She’s super talented and super good looking…if you don’t believe me just ask her, she’ll tell you.

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Hello Ericka (Creative Liar….aka CL)

How ya been? I hope all is well. In my quest to find more BFF’s I’ve discovered that I haven’t interviewed anyone from your Country. That is, from Texas. I lived in Texas once, it was awesome. I’m sure that’s because you were within the borders also. So, in order to include you on my list of BFF’s I need to get to know you better. Do you mind answering some questions? I’ve noticed that you like to do list that are 21 statements long. I usually send 15 questions, but I’ll try for 21 this time…..a first in Celebrity Blogging Interviews. You feel special, don’t you? (That one doesn’t count!)

BroJo: How many times have you done the “Cut, It, Out” gag in your life?

CL: I’ve only done it on three special occasions: my wedding, the birth of my child and that time I accidentally ate a penny.  I’m just kidding.  It was no accident.

BroJo: Speaking of hairy Aliens, you also like Alf. Do you like to eat cats or something? 

CL: Listen, just because someone accidentally covers a cat in barbecue sauce and accidentally eats it doesn’t mean she actually likes it.  But in my case it was delicious.

BroJo: Would all guys look better if they were to wear Sombreros? 

CL: Everything would look better in a sombrero.  Except a sombrero.  That would just be ridiculous.

Sombreros cordobeses. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

BroJo: You wear Skechers Shape Ups, like for real. You must have really toned……calves. 

CL: You know, I don’t wear them only to tone my….calves.  My main goal is to be taller than a five-year-old and with Skechers Shape Ups, I’m 73% of the way there!

BroJo: You’re about a month younger than my little brother, and more talented than me. This makes me feel old and sad. 

CL: Dad, is that you?

BroJo: Can I get free, signed copies of your books? (I bet you never heard that) Wait…not like that…but, ahh…never mind. 

CL: I actually get asked that all the time.  By my grandmother.

BroJo: Do you still owe your dad that “money”? 

CL: If by “money” you mean trapping an angry drunken wombat in his car for him to unwittingly discover, then consider the debt paid.

BroJo: Are you still Vegan? Just because you don’t eat sandwiches anymore doesn’t mean you can’t make me one.

CL: Yes, I just went back to veganism again, and I have never felt so amazing/starving in my life.  And I would love to make you a sandwich, but my husband doesn’t let me use sharp objects.  Smart man.

BroJo: I was on Le Clown’s Blogroll before you were….HaHaHaHaha (You’re still better looking though.) 

CL: Sure, but did you make a life-sized statue of Le Clown out of butter and put it in your ex’s attic for it to go rancid?  Yeah, that’s what I thought, Jon. (Editor’s Note: Don’t get on Ericka’s bad side…unless you have an ample amount of toast.)

BroJo: I read something about Social Anxiety Disorder. Me Too. High Five? 

CL: I would but then I’d anxiously vomit.

BroJo: Favorite 90′s pop band that includes only brothers? (That’s not leading, is it?) 

CL: HANSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*(#$@#($*@!($*!@$*#($@*#(  Ahem.

BroJo: I just noticed I have a bag of potato chips. Best day ever. You ever have a similar situation? 

CL: Yes, I found a half chewed piece of gum under my car.  I don’t get out much.

BroJo: Somehow I have more likes on my Facebook page (Brother Jon – 156, oops just went to 158) than you have on yours (Creative Liar – 148) This doesn’t seem right. How can we fix that? 

CL: Tell all your followers to check out facebook.com/creativeliar where I like to say the f-word and talk incessantly about rabid giraffes.  Don’t forget to tell your grandmothers!

BroJo: My Grandpa wore a fanny pack, mostly because he liked to wear sweat pants that didn’t have pockets. Is this your reasoning too? 

CL: Is there any other?

BroJo: You’re not from Arkansas are you? I’m in Missouri…which is different (maybe better) but about the same. High Five? 

CL: Total high-five.  And yes I’m from Arkansas.  It’s one of the main reasons I refuse to wear shoes in public.  The other seven reasons are because I’m bat shit crazy.

BroJo: Oh man, coming up with 21 things is hard. How do you do it? 

CL: Unicorn dust.  But don’t snort it unless you never want to step foot in North Dakota again.

BroJo: How do you prefer your wine; Cork….screw cap…or in a box? 

CL: Cork.  I like to turn the corks into earrings and guilt various family members into wearing them at holiday functions.  And by family members I mean my husband.

BroJo: How do you like your steak cooked? 

CL: Medium.  That’s also how I like my tofu.

English: Tofu scramble (vegan) (Photo credit: Wikipedia) (Gross!!!)

BroJo: Do you know what a buckeye is? I was once in a bar in New Braunfels, TX and a guy asked me, while watching a college game, because “you’re from Missouri – you should know.” 

CL: I have no idea but if it can be covered in barbecue sauce and meows a little, count me in!

BroJo: What is(are) your favorite book(s)? (Can’t say your own.)

CL: Ugh, fine.  Let’s see, The Year of Magical Thinking, The Glass Castle, A Confederacy of Dunces, Endgame (more of a play than book but whatevs), The Time Traveler’s Wife, The Giver, Bridge to Terabithia, The Bell Jar, Fear of Flying, Forever ( by Pete Hamill), and anything David Sedaris has written, will write or has/will ever even consider writing.  Also, Everybody Poops.

BroJo: Where should I go for Spring Break this year? (If I were still young enough to do such things.) 

CL: Anywhere except my ex’s attic.  I hear it’s a little too buttery this time of year. (Editor’s Note: TOAST!!)

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I want to thank Ericka very much for taking the time to answer my questions. I hope you all enjoyed it…and learned something too.

Any one else interested in being interviewed? Just ask in the comments or shoot me an e-mail. It’s listed above.