An Interview with a Big Phat CREATIVE LIAR!!!

Hey guys! What better way to introduce myself to the new followers then by introducing them to someone else. It’s yet again time for a Celebrity Blogger Interview. Today we have Ericka Clay over at Creative Liar. She’s super talented and super good looking…if you don’t believe me just ask her, she’ll tell you.

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Hello Ericka (Creative Liar….aka CL)

How ya been? I hope all is well. In my quest to find more BFF’s I’ve discovered that I haven’t interviewed anyone from your Country. That is, from Texas. I lived in Texas once, it was awesome. I’m sure that’s because you were within the borders also. So, in order to include you on my list of BFF’s I need to get to know you better. Do you mind answering some questions? I’ve noticed that you like to do list that are 21 statements long. I usually send 15 questions, but I’ll try for 21 this time…..a first in Celebrity Blogging Interviews. You feel special, don’t you? (That one doesn’t count!)

BroJo: How many times have you done the “Cut, It, Out” gag in your life?

CL: I’ve only done it on three special occasions: my wedding, the birth of my child and that time I accidentally ate a penny.  I’m just kidding.  It was no accident.

BroJo: Speaking of hairy Aliens, you also like Alf. Do you like to eat cats or something? 

CL: Listen, just because someone accidentally covers a cat in barbecue sauce and accidentally eats it doesn’t mean she actually likes it.  But in my case it was delicious.

BroJo: Would all guys look better if they were to wear Sombreros? 

CL: Everything would look better in a sombrero.  Except a sombrero.  That would just be ridiculous.

Sombreros cordobeses. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

BroJo: You wear Skechers Shape Ups, like for real. You must have really toned……calves. 

CL: You know, I don’t wear them only to tone my….calves.  My main goal is to be taller than a five-year-old and with Skechers Shape Ups, I’m 73% of the way there!

BroJo: You’re about a month younger than my little brother, and more talented than me. This makes me feel old and sad. 

CL: Dad, is that you?

BroJo: Can I get free, signed copies of your books? (I bet you never heard that) Wait…not like that…but, ahh…never mind. 

CL: I actually get asked that all the time.  By my grandmother.

BroJo: Do you still owe your dad that “money”? 

CL: If by “money” you mean trapping an angry drunken wombat in his car for him to unwittingly discover, then consider the debt paid.

BroJo: Are you still Vegan? Just because you don’t eat sandwiches anymore doesn’t mean you can’t make me one.

CL: Yes, I just went back to veganism again, and I have never felt so amazing/starving in my life.  And I would love to make you a sandwich, but my husband doesn’t let me use sharp objects.  Smart man.

BroJo: I was on Le Clown’s Blogroll before you were….HaHaHaHaha (You’re still better looking though.) 

CL: Sure, but did you make a life-sized statue of Le Clown out of butter and put it in your ex’s attic for it to go rancid?  Yeah, that’s what I thought, Jon. (Editor’s Note: Don’t get on Ericka’s bad side…unless you have an ample amount of toast.)

BroJo: I read something about Social Anxiety Disorder. Me Too. High Five? 

CL: I would but then I’d anxiously vomit.

BroJo: Favorite 90′s pop band that includes only brothers? (That’s not leading, is it?) 

CL: HANSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*(#$@#($*@!($*!@$*#($@*#(  Ahem.

BroJo: I just noticed I have a bag of potato chips. Best day ever. You ever have a similar situation? 

CL: Yes, I found a half chewed piece of gum under my car.  I don’t get out much.

BroJo: Somehow I have more likes on my Facebook page (Brother Jon – 156, oops just went to 158) than you have on yours (Creative Liar – 148) This doesn’t seem right. How can we fix that? 

CL: Tell all your followers to check out facebook.com/creativeliar where I like to say the f-word and talk incessantly about rabid giraffes.  Don’t forget to tell your grandmothers!

BroJo: My Grandpa wore a fanny pack, mostly because he liked to wear sweat pants that didn’t have pockets. Is this your reasoning too? 

CL: Is there any other?

BroJo: You’re not from Arkansas are you? I’m in Missouri…which is different (maybe better) but about the same. High Five? 

CL: Total high-five.  And yes I’m from Arkansas.  It’s one of the main reasons I refuse to wear shoes in public.  The other seven reasons are because I’m bat shit crazy.

BroJo: Oh man, coming up with 21 things is hard. How do you do it? 

CL: Unicorn dust.  But don’t snort it unless you never want to step foot in North Dakota again.

BroJo: How do you prefer your wine; Cork….screw cap…or in a box? 

CL: Cork.  I like to turn the corks into earrings and guilt various family members into wearing them at holiday functions.  And by family members I mean my husband.

BroJo: How do you like your steak cooked? 

CL: Medium.  That’s also how I like my tofu.

English: Tofu scramble (vegan) (Photo credit: Wikipedia) (Gross!!!)

BroJo: Do you know what a buckeye is? I was once in a bar in New Braunfels, TX and a guy asked me, while watching a college game, because “you’re from Missouri – you should know.” 

CL: I have no idea but if it can be covered in barbecue sauce and meows a little, count me in!

BroJo: What is(are) your favorite book(s)? (Can’t say your own.)

CL: Ugh, fine.  Let’s see, The Year of Magical Thinking, The Glass Castle, A Confederacy of Dunces, Endgame (more of a play than book but whatevs), The Time Traveler’s Wife, The Giver, Bridge to Terabithia, The Bell Jar, Fear of Flying, Forever ( by Pete Hamill), and anything David Sedaris has written, will write or has/will ever even consider writing.  Also, Everybody Poops.

BroJo: Where should I go for Spring Break this year? (If I were still young enough to do such things.) 

CL: Anywhere except my ex’s attic.  I hear it’s a little too buttery this time of year. (Editor’s Note: TOAST!!)

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I want to thank Ericka very much for taking the time to answer my questions. I hope you all enjoyed it…and learned something too.

Any one else interested in being interviewed? Just ask in the comments or shoot me an e-mail. It’s listed above.

An Interview With a Shakespearean Character

What’s up guys! It’s time to get this interview business back on track. I’ve had several lovely people respond to my questions, including today’s guest – Iago’s Ghost. Iago is another real life friend of mine – which may explain why I may have been tough on him…but I know he can take it. He just happens to be Glow Worm’s Husband, member of the Armed Forces, Ex-English Teacher, father of…six I think…yeah – six, my Home Teacher and master grill chef. Please enjoy getting to know him.

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Hey Iago’s Ghost (IG),

How’s it going? Long time no see. Your wife, Glow Worm, suggested that I interview you next. (I sure hope there wasn’t any coercion behind that) Anyway, I think the good people in the blogosphere could really benefit from getting to know you better. What do you say? Here we go.

I’m doing well. Thanks for asking. No, there was no coercion. I told her to say “the DH,” when you asked her for suggestions. But she listed off a few other bloggers instead. I was kinda upset. After I had left the room in a huff, she went back and added me to the list. She’s mean like that. I say you are correct: good people would benefit from knowing me better because everyone is entitled to my opinion. And because this will appear on the internet, it must be true.

BroJo: When are you going to paint a red stripe on your van? Glow Worm already installed neon lights underneath. (I pity the fool that don’t get that reference.)

IG: Whoa, ya gotta get your priorities straight, BroJo. Before the red stripe, I need a sound system to match the lights. I gotta rattle some windows while drivin’ thru da ‘hood, ya know? Oh, we can’t forget the hydraulics and spinning hub caps either. “We like the cars, the cars that go boom.”

BroJo: Speaking of Glow Worm….what’s it like having to follow her here? Must be tough.

IG: “Sometimes you kick. Sometimes you get kicked.” Nah, that wasn’t tough. Tough was OCS.

BroJo: Between you and her, who’s the better cook? (I’ll allow hamburger recipes, even though I shouldn’t)

IG: Everyone is allowed to have just one bad day when they slightly under cook some hamburgers, aren’t they? Ok, I admit it. I burned the outside and the inside was a little pink. Ummmm. Ok, yeah they were raw in the middle. It won’t happen again. Promise. (Editor’s Note: Those burgers were just fine. I order my steak like Woody does on The Cowboy Way – Knock it’s horns off, wipe its butt and throw it on a plate!)

BroJo: So, you’re an English Teacher that doesn’t like to write. Find the question in there yourself, Shakespeare.

IG: Iago was one of most villainous characters in all of literature. Everyone has a little Iago in them. Well, if he’s inside you he must microscopic. He’s that voice inside your head telling you, “club that baby seal!” or “light that match.” Iago will tell you not to mention the drop of sauce on someone’s chin. He’s kinda mean like that. When I was about 10 years old we drove past two fat women, and I said, “Save the whales!” That was Iago. When I was in third grade I shot a spit wad at my teacher’s butt. I blame that on Iago.

BroJo: What’s it like living through the 70′s? Like, all of the 70′s? (Old).

IG: Not old, wise and distinguished. I was a child during the 70s. With a few notable exceptions I barely remember it. I do remember going to see Star Wars in the movie theater. Twice! I also remember seeing this girl wearing bell-bottom corduroy pants. Even to my 5-year-old fashion sense they were ugly.

BroJo: What is your favorite song from your birth year?

IG: I don’t know. (Editor’s Note: I’m not buying this for one second. It was probably “Jesus Is Just Alright” – by The Doobie Brothers, but I might be wrong.)

BroJo: Why did 80′s hair-band music have to happen? If only I had a time machine.

IG: To show you young ones what real music is—unlike what that fat prancing Korean or that Bieber what’s-his-name are singing. Also, it had to happen so that totally original musicians of today could steal classic 80s tunes for lame hip-hop mash-ups. Hey, at least in the 80s they actually played live music, and they sang songs about stuff that mattered. You know, like busting moves, blondes in black cars, shouting at the devil, justice for all, roses (and how every one has its thorns), how to dance safely, pyromania, monkeys going to heaven, little red corvettes, and girls, girls, girls! What would you do with a time machine, by the way? (Editor’s Note: Time Machine = Shorter Haircuts and Less Make-Up on stage.)

BroJo: What do you think about Disney potentially making three new Star Wars movies?

IG: At some point in my life I stopped caring about a lot of stuff. But now I hear J.J. Abrams may be the director for the new movies. He is also directing the Star Trek reboots. I don’t think he should be double dipping with both of the most iconic Sci Fi film franchises in the world/galaxy/universe. Joss Whedon might be a better pick. Star Wars could be much darker and compelling than it is with the right director. Christopher Nolan, Zack Snyder, and maybe even Bryan Singer would be interesting directors. But I really don’t care who directs the movies. I have more important things to worry about nowadays. Like did you know that Beyonce lip-synched the National Anthem at Obama’s inauguration? Now she’s actually going to sing at the Superbowl. “Is it live or is it Memorex?”

BroJo: How many mistakes (typos, grammar, etc.) have I made so far?

IG: “Everything counts in large amounts.”

BroJo: Alright….Katy Perry, Zooey Deschanel, Emily Blunt, Katie Featherston, Mia Kirshner, or Siwan Morris?

IG: “Every little thing she does is magic. Everything she do just turns me on.” Honestly, I didn’t know who the last three lovely ladies on the list were. (I don’t watch much TV, and how’s that for alliteration?) But thanks to my friend Google, I see that all six of them have very similar appearances. Are you sure they aren’t all the same person? Katy Perry lost points with me when she dated John Mayer. Emily Blunt is pretty, and maybe her acting is a little under-appreciated. But she’s a little boring. So, I’m going with Zooey today. (Editor’s Note: Trick Question. They’re all the same person!)

BroJo: What’s your favorite trivia game? I need to practice.

IG: What is Jeopardy?! It’s the perfect game—a mix of mental speed, physical dexterity, and competition.

BroJo: Favorite book and movie of all time.

IG: Tough to pick just one. Tess of the D’urbervilles by Thomas Hardy. Maybe The Plague by Albert Camus. The Killer Angels by Michael Shaara. Lately, I’ve been reading a lot of nonfiction—mostly biographies or autobiographies of military men or mountain climbers.

I really liked The Matrix, and Gran Torino ranks among my favorites. One of the best movies ever made, however, was Big Trouble in Little China. I still watch that occasionally and laugh like I did the first time I saw it. I love the scene where Kirk Russell kisses a girl then goes off to fight the bad guys with red lipstick smeared all over his mouth.

BroJo: Your kids sported mustaches during Christmas…..When are you going to grow one? Join me next Movember?

IG: I don’t like my face to be itchy. My face always gets itchy with more than a few day’s growth. And unless I make it through the Q course, I won’t be wearing a mustache for the Army. So, I don’t think a mustache is not gonna happen. Besides, the wife likes my face smooth.

BroJo: What can we expect out of the Garden this year?

IG: Expect the unexpected. Let’s just say I’ll be trying out some new fertilizer blends. (Editor’s Note: Stay away while experimenting with new fertilizer!)

BroJo: How many mistakes (typos, grammar, etc.) have YOU made so far?

IG: “Maybe someday saved by zero.”

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So, there you have it. Iago is awarding “points” to those that can guess where all of the quotes come from.

Related articles

• David Harding “R” Me
• Mooselicker aka Tim
• Becca from 25 to Fly
• Glow Worm
• Roller Giraffe

A Back Yard Interview With Glow Worm

You remember how I said David Harding just might be in the top 50 best bloggers in Australia? Well, I could say the same thing about Glow Worm – not Australia though, but…Missouri. And maybe not the top 50 – but up there nonetheless. You see, Glow Worm is a real life friend of mine…like…for reals. I’ve eaten her food, played with her kids (which means I’ve sat on the couch and watched her kids play) and lost to the world’s worst board games imaginable to her. Her husband is my Home Teacher. Her Brother-in-law was in the EQ Presidency with me for a while. I used to watch her brother foul the Bishop during Ward basketball games – all the time. We hang out is all I’m trying to say. Usually the purpose of these interviews is for me to get to know the blogger better, but this one is different. This is for all of you. You see, she’s pretty cool and I want to show you all that. In fact, she’s probably better than me at a lot of things, like writing, cooking, being a mom….you get the picture. So, without further adieu, here is the BroJo/Glow Worm E-mail exchange. (Note: We really didn’t do this in the back yard…or even outside for that matter. Just don’t worry about it.)

The BroJo and Becca Interview Follow-Up Post

Wow, that was something else today don’t you think? That interview went way better than I thought it would. Here are some numbers for you.

32 -  Total Likes

86  Total Comments

122 – Total Post Views

Some of you big dogs out there might not think much about these numbers, but they are the best I’ve ever seen on any given day. Some other benefits of this interview include;

6 – New Total Followers (New Friends!)

80 – Total Page Views For Other Posts

4 – Total Clicks On My Infamous Interview

Now, for an update and a follow-up on some of the Interview questions.

First, the update.

Because of the Infamous Interview, that was shown on the Local News, I received two separate phone calls today from gentlemen who are willing to replace all of the wiring that was stolen, and provide free labor in fixing the wires and plugs too. My fame is doing good for the world. Shoot me an e-mail if you would like me to make an appearance at any of your functions.

Follow-Up on Interview Questions

1. I happen to like Carrot Top. Axl Rose, Prince Harry and Mark McGwire? Not so much.

2. I don’t really like Long John Silver’s, but I probably would if it were renamed Long Jon Silvers.

3. As soon as it cools down I’ll see about growing it back.

4. You’re Welcome!

5. Sorry, I’ll try to ask the correct question next time.

6. I’m not a bandwagon fan, but the Saints are pretty good……..the Latter-Day Saints – Boom!

7. See comments section under Twindaddy. He knows his Stuph!

8. THAT’S WHAT IT’S CALLED! And anyone that does that is kinda weird.

9. I’m glad we can agree on the olive thing. Our Restaurant does make one without it, but I still can’t do it.

10. Great! Now my mustache will match my….

11. This isn’t over. Link all of the way.

12. I liked all of the people you listed, but I had to look up Rhys Darby. I remember him from the movie Yes Man. He was really funny in that.

13. You can do it. I quite smoking about 500 days ago. Let me know if you want any pointers. Make sure to buy some cinnamon gum, toothpaste and mouth wash. Grapefruit juice helps too.

14. My favorite thing about Tracy Morgan nowadays is seeing him on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

15. I liked Bobby too. You remember when he wanted to take on the new comedic persona of Celery Head? That’s one reason I like Carrot Top. That joke wouldn’t work without him.

Thank you guys so much for coming around today, and thank you Becca for playing along. This was one of the best days I’ve had in the blogoshere!

English: Axl Rose performing in 2010. (Photo credit: Wikipedia) How could you forget this Ginger? Yikes!

Related articles

• Cause We’re The Two Best Friends, That Anyone Could Have (ldsconvertblog.com)
• Move Over David. Tim Is Here – To Stay (ldsconvertblog.com)
• Move Over Boys, There’s A New Ginger In Town (ldsconvertblog.com)

Move Over Boys, There’s A New Ginger In Town

It’s time for another Celebrity (Blogger) Interview. This time I’ve gotten a few questions over to Becca @ 25 to Fly. As you would expect she’s didn’t let me down. Have a look at what transpired after hitting the send button on my e-mail.

Move Over David. Tim Is Here – To Stay

I’m not a one trick pony. I can do other things, and write about different stuffs, if I wanted to. But, the most greatest thing in the world are the new friends that I’m making. So, I will continue to do these post…just because. Here is an e-mail I sent Mooselicker a couple of weeks ago. He actually decided to answer me back…so that means we really are BFF’s, or something like that.