An Interview with a Big Phat CREATIVE LIAR!!!

Hey guys! What better way to introduce myself to the new followers then by introducing them to someone else. It’s yet again time for a Celebrity Blogger Interview. Today we have Ericka Clay over at Creative Liar. She’s super talented and super good looking…if you don’t believe me just ask her, she’ll tell you.

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Hello Ericka (Creative Liar….aka CL)

How ya been? I hope all is well. In my quest to find more BFF’s I’ve discovered that I haven’t interviewed anyone from your Country. That is, from Texas. I lived in Texas once, it was awesome. I’m sure that’s because you were within the borders also. So, in order to include you on my list of BFF’s I need to get to know you better. Do you mind answering some questions? I’ve noticed that you like to do list that are 21 statements long. I usually send 15 questions, but I’ll try for 21 this time…..a first in Celebrity Blogging Interviews. You feel special, don’t you? (That one doesn’t count!)

BroJo: How many times have you done the “Cut, It, Out” gag in your life?

CL: I’ve only done it on three special occasions: my wedding, the birth of my child and that time I accidentally ate a penny.  I’m just kidding.  It was no accident.

BroJo: Speaking of hairy Aliens, you also like Alf. Do you like to eat cats or something? 

CL: Listen, just because someone accidentally covers a cat in barbecue sauce and accidentally eats it doesn’t mean she actually likes it.  But in my case it was delicious.

BroJo: Would all guys look better if they were to wear Sombreros? 

CL: Everything would look better in a sombrero.  Except a sombrero.  That would just be ridiculous.

Sombreros cordobeses. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

BroJo: You wear Skechers Shape Ups, like for real. You must have really toned……calves. 

CL: You know, I don’t wear them only to tone my….calves.  My main goal is to be taller than a five-year-old and with Skechers Shape Ups, I’m 73% of the way there!

BroJo: You’re about a month younger than my little brother, and more talented than me. This makes me feel old and sad. 

CL: Dad, is that you?

BroJo: Can I get free, signed copies of your books? (I bet you never heard that) Wait…not like that…but, ahh…never mind. 

CL: I actually get asked that all the time.  By my grandmother.

BroJo: Do you still owe your dad that “money”? 

CL: If by “money” you mean trapping an angry drunken wombat in his car for him to unwittingly discover, then consider the debt paid.

BroJo: Are you still Vegan? Just because you don’t eat sandwiches anymore doesn’t mean you can’t make me one.

CL: Yes, I just went back to veganism again, and I have never felt so amazing/starving in my life.  And I would love to make you a sandwich, but my husband doesn’t let me use sharp objects.  Smart man.

BroJo: I was on Le Clown’s Blogroll before you were….HaHaHaHaha (You’re still better looking though.) 

CL: Sure, but did you make a life-sized statue of Le Clown out of butter and put it in your ex’s attic for it to go rancid?  Yeah, that’s what I thought, Jon. (Editor’s Note: Don’t get on Ericka’s bad side…unless you have an ample amount of toast.)

BroJo: I read something about Social Anxiety Disorder. Me Too. High Five? 

CL: I would but then I’d anxiously vomit.

BroJo: Favorite 90′s pop band that includes only brothers? (That’s not leading, is it?) 

CL: HANSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*(#$@#($*@!($*!@$*#($@*#(  Ahem.

BroJo: I just noticed I have a bag of potato chips. Best day ever. You ever have a similar situation? 

CL: Yes, I found a half chewed piece of gum under my car.  I don’t get out much.

BroJo: Somehow I have more likes on my Facebook page (Brother Jon – 156, oops just went to 158) than you have on yours (Creative Liar – 148) This doesn’t seem right. How can we fix that? 

CL: Tell all your followers to check out facebook.com/creativeliar where I like to say the f-word and talk incessantly about rabid giraffes.  Don’t forget to tell your grandmothers!

BroJo: My Grandpa wore a fanny pack, mostly because he liked to wear sweat pants that didn’t have pockets. Is this your reasoning too? 

CL: Is there any other?

BroJo: You’re not from Arkansas are you? I’m in Missouri…which is different (maybe better) but about the same. High Five? 

CL: Total high-five.  And yes I’m from Arkansas.  It’s one of the main reasons I refuse to wear shoes in public.  The other seven reasons are because I’m bat shit crazy.

BroJo: Oh man, coming up with 21 things is hard. How do you do it? 

CL: Unicorn dust.  But don’t snort it unless you never want to step foot in North Dakota again.

BroJo: How do you prefer your wine; Cork….screw cap…or in a box? 

CL: Cork.  I like to turn the corks into earrings and guilt various family members into wearing them at holiday functions.  And by family members I mean my husband.

BroJo: How do you like your steak cooked? 

CL: Medium.  That’s also how I like my tofu.

English: Tofu scramble (vegan) (Photo credit: Wikipedia) (Gross!!!)

BroJo: Do you know what a buckeye is? I was once in a bar in New Braunfels, TX and a guy asked me, while watching a college game, because “you’re from Missouri – you should know.” 

CL: I have no idea but if it can be covered in barbecue sauce and meows a little, count me in!

BroJo: What is(are) your favorite book(s)? (Can’t say your own.)

CL: Ugh, fine.  Let’s see, The Year of Magical Thinking, The Glass Castle, A Confederacy of Dunces, Endgame (more of a play than book but whatevs), The Time Traveler’s Wife, The Giver, Bridge to Terabithia, The Bell Jar, Fear of Flying, Forever ( by Pete Hamill), and anything David Sedaris has written, will write or has/will ever even consider writing.  Also, Everybody Poops.

BroJo: Where should I go for Spring Break this year? (If I were still young enough to do such things.) 

CL: Anywhere except my ex’s attic.  I hear it’s a little too buttery this time of year. (Editor’s Note: TOAST!!)

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I want to thank Ericka very much for taking the time to answer my questions. I hope you all enjoyed it…and learned something too.

Any one else interested in being interviewed? Just ask in the comments or shoot me an e-mail. It’s listed above.

Hugs Make Good Payments

Saturday night I had a bitter-sweet excitement about me. This past Sunday was a Fast Sunday. I’ve always struggled with Fast Sundays. Normally you pick something to Fast for, and then you pray about it and that is the start of your Fast. Fasts usually last for two full meals, and the money that is saved from not eating those two meals is donated to the Church. The reason I struggle with this is because I often forget to start the Fast in a proper way. I forget to Fast for a reason. The not eating part isn’t that big of deal to me, unless a friend is inadvertently trying to make you break your fast with a food post! All is good though, I was able to Fast for my full two meals, and I even had a reason, which is the bitter-sweet part.

This Sunday I decided to Fast for the well-being of my Grandfather. He is currently in the hospital and not in the best of shape. (This is part of the reason for this post.) Also on Fast Sundays we have a Testimony Meeting at Church. This involves members of the Ward getting up and bearing their testimonies in front of the congregation. Anyone is allowed to get up and do this. I’ve never done it myself, but I’ve often sat back and thought about what I might say if I did get up in front of everyone. Yesterday I was thinking about something that happened this weekend and how it testified of the Holy Ghost to me.

Saturday we held our Year-End Awards Luncheon for the Jaycees. At this event I handed out awards to those deserving for their past year of service. We also heard some great stories and history about our local Chapter and we heard from a man who was a member in Texas several years ago. Being the President this year I was in charge of setting up and organizing this event. While I was picking up supplies, late last week, I came upon a pack of 80′s Glam Sharpie markers and decided to buy them for the event. I didn’t really know what I could use them for, but for some reason I knew that I wanted to have them there.

After our lunch was over and the awards were handed out I got out those markers, opened them up and set them on the desert table. The kids immediately swarmed around me and asked if they could use them. Of course I said yes (and watched all the parents say “Don’t Mark On ANYTHING!”) and the kids were on their way, drawing on napkins and paper plates. At this moment I thought this is the reason I needed to pick these up. Then something else happened. A little girl walked up to me and said “Jon, can I have this?” while showing me her marker. I said yes and started talking with her mom. I looked down and she was still standing there. She looked up and said “I think I should probably pay for this with a hug” to which I replied “Oh really?” She shook her head yes and I bent down a little and received my payment for the marker. That moment is why I was supposed to buy those markers; so I could have that experience, and let all you guys know about it.

There are always little simple things that show us our Heavenly Father cares for us, and is trying to help us down the right path. Little instances that often seem very insignificant can be the best lessons to teach with. Have you ever experienced a little prompting, like this one?

The best way to get hugs (Photo credit: danmachold)

3. And this is the ensample unto them, that they shall speak as they are moved upon by the Holy Ghost. 4. And whatsoever they shall speak when moved upon by the Holy Ghost shall be scripture, shall be the will of the Lord, shall be the mind of the Lord, shall be the word of the Lord, shall be the voice of the Lord, and the power of God unto salvation. ~ Doctrine and Covenants 68: 3-4

His Name Was Robert Paulson…

Actually, his name wasn’t Robert Paulson, and I’m not talking about Fight Club either. (That’s against the rules anyway.) His first name was Robert though, but we all called him Bobby.

Fight Club (novel) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Sound and the Fury

Alternate version of the Ænima artwork with dedication to comedian Bill Hicks.

The last few days I’ve been listening to one of my favorite bands of all time. The reminiscing is nice, and upsetting at the same time. They were a “local” band, I think out of Kansas City. I went to many of their shows back in the day. They were along the same lines as Tool, Earshot or 10 Years. (One of best covers they did was Ænima by Tool.) The last album they put out, the one I’m going to be talking about the most, was called Another Stage. This album came out in 2005. While I was living in Texas, around 2006, they broke up. This was very shocking to me. I had been in contact with a buddy from back home, and had been listening to all the breaks they were getting, all the record executives they happened to play in front of. I knew they were going to make it, and I was going to be able to say “I saw those guys play before they were famous.”

My buddy, that was keeping me updated about The Sound and the Fury, is an ex radio DJ. He was/is always coming in with new stuff, telling me how great it is and that I need to give it a listen. When he brought this CD, Another Stage, in I was a little skeptical. A lot of the unsigned, local bands that he had referred me to weren’t really my cup of herbal tea. To say that this CD was a pleasant surprise would not be giving it enough credit. It was, and still is, the only album that I can listen to without having to skip any of the songs. The message behind all of the songs is wonderful too. After giving them another listen this week I was reminded of that. It seems like they were ahead of their time with a lot of the social issues going on now-a-days. Here is a run down of  their songs from Another Stage.

First we have The Rape. Yes, this song is about rape, but it’s not what you think. The song illustrates how easy it can be for a man to take advantage of a girl, and get away with it. How bad our judicial system is capable of being. It’s hard to review this song positively, so you’re going to have to trust me.

Next there is Technology. This song talks about people assuming new identities through things like e-mail and social networks. Are you really talking to the person you think you are?

The third song is named S.T.D. This on is basically giving the message, don’t judge a book by its cover, except with a twist. Just because dudes and chicks look clean-cut and wholesome, doesn’t mean that they are.

The next song is entitled Millionaire Losers. This is one of my favorite songs on the album. So, the people in Hollywood are only giving you what they think you want. Not everything you see on TV is real. (In fact most isn’t.) A line from the song says “To be like them, you can’t be you.”

Next is a song called Bullet Factory. This one is pretty much self-explanatory. Just because we don’t actually go to war doesn’t mean that we aren’t, indirectly, responsible for wrong doings. It talks about shooting “bullets of hope.”

The next one IS my favorite song on the album, and it is called House of Vanity. This song talks about bullying, or “clicks”. “Leave right now. You’re not beautiful, you’re not beautiful. That’s reason enough.” There are people out there that really think this.

Pushing the Demons is the next track. This one is kind of poetic, which means I don’t really know how to explain it so I’ll leave you with a couple of the lines. “Cause I’m working hard everyday, to push my demons away. If you’re gonna stand in my way, I’m gonna push my demons away.”

The penultimate song is Metaphor. I don’t know what it is, but I like it. “If you can’t see the bad, I can’t show you the good.”

The last song on this wonderful album is Addiction. This is a song I can relate to. Yesterday was my eleven month anniversary of sobriety. Two weeks from now will be the same amount of time since I quit smoking. “Cause I’m sick and tired, of being sick and tired……Everyday!”

Cover for the album “Another Stage”

So, there you go. Jeff, the lead singer, is still around doing acoustical shows in Texas at pizza and coffee joints. I don’t know what all the other guys are doing, but it sure would be nice to see them play again. I want to ask a favor from you guys. If you like any of these songs, even just one of them, please share this on Facebook or Twitter. Let’s see if we can get their attention.

Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth; and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes: but know thou, that for all these things God will bring thee into judgment. ~ Ecclesiastes 11: 9

Alright, Time For You To Go Away

There are a lot of people out there that don’t like numbers. I am not one of those people. I deal with numbers everyday, yet still I like them….until today. There has been one particular number following me around for quite some time now. I didn’t really mind it, to begin with, but now, I want to get rid of it.

When I was 23 years old I decided that it was time for me to have a change of scenery. A friend of mine had just moved to Texas, and I knew that he was interviewing for a position that I was qualified for. I called him up and he offered to fly me down to show me around. I was impressed and decided to go for it. When I arrived I ended up spending about six weeks in a hotel before I found an apartment. My hotel room was number 238. I met many people in that six weeks and received much help in my apartment hunt. I finally found an apartment complex and ended up with a two bedroom, upstairs apartment number 238. I stayed there for a little over a year. I became homesick and decided to move back. I had a little Ford Ranger when I got back, but that ended up going away. To help out my Muddah loaned my her car, that I ended up buying, that had license plate number 238 yadda yadda yadda. That was all about five years ago. I now have a different vehicle, with a different plate number. I had thought I was done with this number, until this morning when I got on the good ole scale. 238. This is the largest this number has ever been.

I try to justify, and others do to, by saying stuff like “well, at least you don’t smoke or drink anymore.” Or “you can’t be perfect.” Now, I know that I can’t be perfect, but it’s time to stop making excuses for myself. Time to take some of this 238 off of me.

19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s. ~ 1 Corinthians 6: 19-20

For I know that ye have searched much, many of you, to know of things to come; wherefore I know that ye know that our flesh must waste away and die; nevertheless, in our bodies we shall see God. ~ 2 Nephi 9: 4

Not Going Back In That Shell

Missouri (Photo credit: Len not Lenny)

The other day I spoke about my “journey” from birth to Missouri. That journey was scattered with various little stories, one of which I want talk about tonight. First off I want to talk about why I may have developed a certain characteristic.

I’ve always been shy and quiet, but I’ve been able to overcome that over the last couple years, and even more so within the last six months. Joining the Jaycees, and becoming an officer, then the President, has forced me to open up. Also, joining the Church has allowed me to be more confident in myself, and to not worry so much about the little things like I used to. This is great for me, but there is always a reason for why I needed to “come out of my shell”, and here it is.

1886 View of El Paso

Before, I talked about living in El Paso, Texas before finally moving to Missouri. This was my third grade year, and we lived there for the summer and only a few weeks of school. I don’t remember much about El Paso except that it was really hot and this one particular lunch I had in school. I don’t remember what I had to eat, but I will never forget what happened. I’ve always been a people watcher, and this was especially true seeing how this was a new place for me and I didn’t know very many people, so at lunch I would eat and look around. One day I was sitting across from a kid that didn’t like it when I looked at him that much. Not once or twice, but three times I was told “stop staring at me”. The last time, I was told “If you don’t stop staring at me, I’m going to tell a teacher.” I got it that time, and held on to it for about twenty years. I don’t feel like I was bullied, just the wrong place at the wrong time. If anything, it helped me become a good listener.

Matthew 6: 28;

And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:

Helaman 3: 21;

And it came to pass that he had two sons. He gave unto the eldest the name of Nephi, and unto the youngest, the name of Lehi. And they began to grow up unto the Lord.

Gas Prices Are So High…..How High Are They?

Well, I just dropped $60 on a full tank of gas. Not complaining, just letting you know that it happened. I know some people pay a lot more, and a few pay a lot less. I just wonder why there isn’t much complaining going on about the prices of other things, not that there should be. I can remember paying under a dollar per gallon for gas when I was in high school. I also remember paying around $4 when I moved back from Texas a little over five years ago, which is more than it is now. A gallon of milk cost between $3.50-$3.99, which is more than I just paid for a gallon of gas, the only difference is I need more than one gallon of gas, at a time. I try not to complain about gas, or any other prices, if I can help it. I need this stuff regardless of its price. Thinking and reminiscing about the good ole days is all well and fine, but I think it would be better if we all concentrated on trying to make the future “brighter”. (I mean no disrespect to my couponing friends. You don’t complain, you get out there and do something about it. I applaud you!) Just wanted to make a few comments.

Proverbs 24: 14;

So shall the knowledge of wisdom be unto thy soul: when thou hast found it, then there shall be a reward, and thy expectation shall not be cut off.

Part 2, The Journey is Still Going.

Continued from a few hours ago………got to love them chores.

Missouri is my dads home state, and the first time we finally settled here was around 1987-1988. This was my first grade year. We settled in a little two bedroom house that, I think, they fixed up and resold. At the end of the year work called and we headed over to Ardmore, Oklahoma.

In Oklahoma I seemed to have opened up a bit. I can’t remember everything, but I do know that I had plenty of friends (I still talk to one every once in a while) and participated in a couple  of “plays”. (Not sure what else to call it. I spoke in front of people, that’s the important part) I can remember that we lived across from the town Mayor, I think.) This is also when I was first introduced to the Nintendo, with The Super Mario Brothers, and, in my opinion, the greatest game of all time, The Legend of Zelda. After this we had a little stint again in Texas.

El Paso, Texas wasn’t my favorite place to live, and it’s a good thing we only spent a few months there. We were there for the Summer months, and that’s about it. It was so hot you could fry an egg on the sidewalk, at least that’s what we saw on the news. We didn’t really have a yard, so on the days we were allowed to use water we played in the mud. I only remember going to about three weeks of school, before we headed back to Missouri. In this three weeks I can remember not really feeling that comfortable at school. This is probably where my shyness came from. On to the eventual settling in Missouri.

Welp, here I am in Missouri, been here since the third grade, some 21 years ago. In the middle of then and now there was a few summers spent in Albuquerque, New Mexico and Seattle, Washington. I even moved back to Texas, for a short while, in and around the San Antonio area, but all of those stories can be saved for later. I’m very glad, and fortunate, to have ended up where I am.

3 Nephi 21: 28;

Yea, and then shall the work commence, with the Father among all nations in preparing the way whereby his people may be gathered home to the land of their inheritance.

Happiness is a Warm “Pistol” Pete

Tonight I have the pleasure of attending, with two missionaries and one investigator, a ward basketball game. I have told these missionaries, and the previous ones, that I do NOT like basketball. I don’t like to play it, I don’t like to watch it, I don’t like hardly anything about it. This goes for all similar sports like Soccer and Hockey. (And don’t tell me they’re not similar. You run, or skate, back and forth trying to put an object into a thing that has a net. The only differences I can see is that one is played outside on grass, one is inside on ice, and the other is inside on wood or outside on concrete/black top. ) The only time I ever pay attention to it is in March. (I do like filling those brackets out.)